Leading yourself 4 – Fight to be in the Moment

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Boundaries, Enjoying Life, Rest, Self Managment / 4 Comments

In January I had a few days up the coast at a gorgeous place called Woolgoolga, with my friends Kerry and Marg – and some of Marg’s family. It was lovely.

At the time there were some pretty challenging things going on in my family which were causing me concern.

I also knew that I would be going back to a very busy time at work.

I felt these pressures trying to rob me of my usual holiday joy.

So I made a decision to fight to be in the moment. It didn’t mean I stopped caring about my family. It  did mean that I savoured the moments that would fill my soul and bring rest to my mind, so that I can keep on caring.

Leaders know how to fight to be in the moments of refreshing despite pressures, concerns and problems.

So I walked on the beach,swam in the ocean, played 500, drank champagne as the sun set, and relaxed.

One of my favourite moments was where I took the beach photo, and got the fresh revelation that turned into this post. There was an outdoor shower at the beach. After I had a surf I would stand under cool fresh water in a shower looking at the view. I loved those moments. I determined to not worry about anything but to just soak in the pure joy of cool water , warm sun and a stunning view. To take the moment to thank God for his stunning creation.  To just be right there in that moment taking it all in.

We have to be people who can take every thought captive, we can lead our own minds and hearts to peace and joy in the midst of big lives.

Even in the midst of challenges and heartache, that we can stop and enjoy a moment. We can allow our soul to be refreshed by these moments.

I am convinced that leading our souls in this way will cause us to be able to run the race set before us for the long haul.

Lets be people who can be in the moment – and lets let those moments colour our worlds.

(If you would like to get content like this  in your email regularly and never have to look for it on social media again – just put your email address in  the subscribe section . My goal is to help you avoid some of the mistakes I have made and to encourage you on your journey!)

Leading Yourself 3 – Don’t be a Know All

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Self Managment / 4 Comments

Last year at College I had the honor of teaching a number of people in their 70’s. To be fair they have much longer experience of life and following God than I do. Despite this I found them to be the most open, hungry learners.

People who could have been “know it alls” were the opposite.

Then in the last week I have been in a Communications Master Class with Paul Scanlon (he’s not paying me but I would recommend it in a heart beat) and in a Leaders meeting with Ps Phil Pringle, and both mentioned that they see a teachable heart as a key to success in life.

So as I reflected on this I realised again how important it is  to lead out hearts and minds to always be teachable – to never stop learning. Once we get the “know it all” spirit we put a ceiling over our lives.

A few ways to do this -and I am sure you can think of more

  1. Decide you can learn something from everyone. Every person in your world has something to teach you.
  2. Be curious about life – don’t settle for what you think you remember about something – find out – heck google it. We have learning out our fingertips every day.
  3. Let every life situation teach you something – I look for the lesson in everything .
  4. Read, read, read. Don’t just read from authors that you know you will agree with – read people who will challenge you. Allow your thinking to be challenged.
  5. Decide, no matter how much I know about a topic, I am not an expert. I am just someone on a journey to keep understanding.

As a person involved in education and training as a job it is fascinating to watch students on a learning journey. They all get the same content and experiences, some chose to be open and teachable and their growth is extraordinary. There are always some people who for whatever reason don’t  eat what is laid out for them on the banquet table. It is so sad to me – it is especially sad when they take no personal responsibility and it is everyone else’s fault. No learning experience is perfect, and C3 College is definitely not perfect, however what we learn in any place is largely our responsibility.

Everyday we have an opportunity to learn something that will enrich our lives and help us grow. Let’s lead ourselves every day to be people who are teachable.

(If you would like to get content like this  in your email regularly and never have to look for it on social media again – just put your email address in  the subscribe section . My goal is to help you avoid some of the mistakes I have made and to encourage you on your journey!)

 

Leading Yourself 2 – Your Money

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Boundaries, Dealing with People, Self Managment, Uncategorized / 2 Comments

As leaders I don’t think we necessarily have to have investment and property portfolios, I do believe however there are some areas of our finances that we need to lead.

1.Giving

We have to have the giving/tithing/ offering questions resolved in our minds and be regularly giving. We need to be giving to our local churches, and to our friends on mission fields, to building funds, to charities and disaster relief . We need to do it within our budgets but it has to be a regular part of our lives. We can’t ask people to give if we are not doing it.  It is part of being Christ like- he gave his everything and if we are like him we give.

2. Generosity 

We have to be generous people – yes with our time and property but also with money. We can’t be the people who are known for skimping out on our part of the dinner bill or never contributing to group gifts. God has been so generous to us, we need to have a generous heart.

3. Pay Bills 

Leaders are people who, except in dire, unforeseen circumstances,  pay bills on time. We are good stewards so we avoid late fees. We also avoid the stress of creditors chasing us down. Leaders who never have any credit on their phone because they haven’t paid the bill are hamstrung in the 21st century.

4. Live within a Budget 

Leaders live within what their current circumstances are. I once ran up a large credit card debt and I will never do it again. It took me way too long to get out of debt and that sucked the  joy out of those purchases. It also meant I paid ay too much in interest and I could have done something useful with that money. The only area I have large debt these days is my home – and unfortunately that is just part of life in Sydney.

I know this is all really basic – but unfortunately some of this took me too long to get. I also see grown people in their middle age thinking spirituality is praying and coming to lots of church meetings, and their finances are a mess. They wonder why people don’t respect them and God doesn’t use them. We don’t need to be wealthy – but we do need to be wise.

A real relationship with God brings a generous heart. I am off to have a glass of wine now- because I have a generous flat mate who buys and shares NZ Sav Blanc !!

(If you would like to get content like this  in your email regularly and never have to look for it on social media again – just put your email address in  the subscribe section . My goal is to help you avoid some of the mistakes I have made and to encourage you on your journey!)

First Lead Yourself

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Boundaries, Dealing with People, Self Managment / 6 Comments

I had a conversation with a young leader who was stepping down from a leadership role a few weeks ago. In a moment an incredible self-awareness she said “I can’t lead other people when right now I can’t lead myself”.

If you are any type of leadership culture you will resonate with this and have heard it before.

This time  I heard it, thus got  me thinking. We are all works in progress and will have areas where we are doing well, and areas where we are struggling, so we can’t always lead ourselves well.

However here are some areas where if we can’t lead ourselves we will undermine any leadership role we are in.

So for the next few weeks I am going to unpack some of them. Heres the first one.

Leading Your Emotional World

Leaders can’t be emotionless robots or people who are always up and peppy. However I do believe we need some control of our emotional world.

This doesn’t mean we can’t have a tough day, express grief, anger or sadness. It does mean though that we need to have enough self-control that we can shelve those emotions when the situation requires it.

Leaders need a level of emotional stability so people around you can trust and rely on you.

For me the last thing I want is my team on egg shells wondering what sort of mood I am going to be in today (I am really hoping after this blog I don’t find out this is the case !)

Leaders need to be people who can handle problems and issues without losing control of their emotional world. We also need to understand how what is going on in our physical body affects our mood and brain function. Sometimes the situation is not as bad as your response, you just need food or sleep.

Part of this is knowing what the release valves on your emotions are.

At work if I know I am starting to red line I will go the kitchen at work, make a cup of tea , while its brewing I  go to the bathroom and tell God that I am not coping. Some how admitting it and asking for help is the first step towards gaining control. Then I usually find that either my perspective changes, peace comes or I get a God idea and I can get back into it.    ( Some days I drink a lot of tea)

At peak times I make sure I am walking the dog and praying every morning. I stay committed to swimming laps three times a week – I make sure I have fun times with good friends.

The things you do to release your emotional pressure valve will be different to mine – but you need to know what they are.

The last thing we need is for people we lead to experience outbursts of negative emotions on a regular basis because we are not in control. (We will all still lose the plot occasionally – which requires an apology I wrote about it here Say Sorry ) .Emotional stability creates trust and security in teams.

How do you keep your emotions under control ? What are you release valves, do you know when to use them ?  How do you healthily express emotions ?

(If you would like to get content like this  in your email regularly and never have to look for it on social media again – just put your email address in  the subscribe section . My goal is to help you avoid some of the mistakes I have made and to encourage you on your journey! )

 

What are You Believing ?

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Church Life, Jesus, Theology / 8 Comments

This is my first post for 2016 and it comes from a message I preached at C3 Service Manly yesterday. I preached on something I am passionate about – what we believe.

This message came out of a season in my life last year when a thought popped into my head one day while I was walking the dog. The thought began as a seed and it quickly took root and before I knew it I had a new belief system in my mind – I had a new doctrine.

photo

The sad thing about this doctrine was that it caused me to doubt God and despair that I wouldn’t see his goodness in an area of my life.

Good thing for me – this season didn’t last too long. Thanks to the Still Small Voice I came to my senses and dug out that faulty doctrine. However it reminded me how important it is to watch what we are believing.

Doctrine is not for Bible College students or academics – it is crucial for all of us. Paul speaking to Timothy says “Watch your life and doctrine closely”.

The reason it is crucial to watch your doctrine is because what you believe will determine how you live.

Here’s the key beliefs that will determine how we live and love.

1.  God is the Father

If I believe God is a Good Father it will change the way I live. People with Good Fathers are confident in who they are and happy to ask their Fathers for help

2. Jesus did it ALL on the Cross.

We have got to keep central in our minds that there is nothing we can do to earn God’s grace . This will keep works mentality from sneaking  into our thinking . We cannot earn God’s love- we have it 100% every day!

3. The Holy Spirit is NOT the Force (Sorry Star Wars fans)

He is the third person of the trinity, he is our guide, comforter and friend – he is God and He is the power that raised Jesus from the dead and lives on the inside of us. Incredible!

4. The Church is NOT a Meeting on a Sunday.

It is not a religious box we tick once a week. It is a dwelling place that God lives by his Spirit – it is the family of God- at points dysfunctional but still our family.

5. EVERY Person is valuable and made in the image of God!

That no matter the gender, age, status, ability – every person deserves respect and care. No person’s life is disposable for any cause. I hate to get political on a Monday morning but gosh I wish more people in our world understood this doctrine – life is sacred because it comes from God.

I know this is all pretty basic, but if I could forget God is Good for a season – I figured maybe you could too.

Believing for a great 2016 for you all – filled with great doctrine !

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just put your email address in  the subscribe section . I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant, I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)

 

 

 

A Challenge for Your Heart

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Boundaries, Dealing with People, Self Managment / 2 Comments

 

IMG_5785
This week for me at C3 College it is graduation week. This week I will mark a mountain of work and some people will pass and some people will fail.

Some people will fail because of dumb decisions, others because of life circumstances and still others because of learning or medical problems.

As I have these tough conversations with people (I have written about why and how to do tough conversations) I will get a glimpse into where their security lies.

When we are faced with a challenge or even a failure it reveals our hearts.

I think about this regularly, and I know it is so easy to slip into having our security in things that come and go, things that are transient and things that are so dangerous to put your security in.

So often it is not like we decide to put our security in something. Things just creep into our psyche and begin to define us.

Suddenly

Our achievements are so crucial we tell everyone about them

Our looks and clothes are way too important

Our roles or jobs become our identity

Our friendship group defines how we see ourselves

Our houses, cars, possessions tell us who we are … and the list goes on.

The problem with all these things is that they can be taken away in a moment, sometimes just through life circumstances, and we found ourselves adrift. We don’t know who we are anymore.

The other problem is that these things become cages, we have to work hard to maintain, because otherwise all of who I am comes crashing down.

We need to constantly be going back to having our security firmly in the One who never changes, the One who always loves us no matter what, the only real security in this life. The One who is for me when it seems like the world (or just the grades and the Assistant Principal ) are against me.

This week I will watch people who have their security in Christ make it through. They may not graduate now, but their foundations will mean they will hold their heads high, they will often re-do work or complete later. Those without their security in Christ will disappear and hide which is such a shame.

I think particularly of three young men who are part of the Class of 2016, who have repeated, changed streams, to find out where their talents and giftings lie. They have done an incredible journey, they have at points humbled themselves and allowed us to guide them. They have gained so much and their foundations are in who Jesus is, Christ in them the hope of Glory !

Enjoy the photos of the students – it’s a sentimental time of year !

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant, I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)

 

Love is not all we need !

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Church Life, Dealing with People / Leave a comment

IMG_1904

Lately I have noticed that yes we need to love one another- but we will not survive in life without the ability to forgive one another.

To live lives that are effective and fruitful, we have to be able to release people who have offended or hurt us, we have to be able to forgive.

Is forgiveness always easy ? No of course not. At least three times in my life I have been on forgiveness journeys that have taken years to work themselves out.

In one case every day in my prayer time I proclaimed – “I forgive her” .  At the end of a year it wasn’t only words it was finally something that I experienced. I had actually forgiven and I am so glad I did. The person I needed to forgive is still a good friend to this day and I could have missed out on 30 years of friendship if I didn’t forgive.

Forgiveness doesn’t say what the person did was OK. It does say I will no longer hold it against them.

As my friend Emma wisely said to me said this week – to forgive is to be free – free to go anywhere without having to avoid anyone, free to do life with lots of people without being concerned about factions and divisions. Free from hanging on to a hurt or offence and letting it continue to hurt or offend.

Forgiveness knows we all have feet of clay and make mistakes and so can extend grace to other people.

Forgiveness doesn’t take on other people’s offences, and let other people’s issues keep us in chains, long after they have moved on.

Forgiveness understands I have been forgiven much and so I need to forgive.

We do need to love each other but its not all we need, we also need to forgive each other. It is hard work, it takes commitment and a big heart. It is so worth it in the end.

If none of that inspires you to forgive – maybe the scariest verse in the Bible will – I know puts the fear of God in me “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Matt 6:14

Just my thoughts on forgiveness on a raining Thursday evening in Sydney.

Painting by Phil Pringle – go to PhilPringle.com 

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant, I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)