Tough Conversations – Why have them ?




Tough Conversations  – Why Have Them ?

If you have been in any sort of leadership or management longer than 10 minutes you know you will need to have tough conversations with people at some point.

No-one wants to have them because they are tough.

They are tough on the people delivering them and tougher on the people receiving them.

I have been on the receiving end of some very tough conversations- some of them I am eternally grateful for – others took a while to work through. Sometimes when I have been on the receiving end I have been a total brat to the poor person delivering the bad news !

I have lately been on the giving end of some tough conversations Sometimes I handle them well – sometimes I don’t. Sometimes people receive them well –sometimes they don’t.

I have thought through the reasons why I would  have the tough conversations- because really we would all rather avoid them. Some are crucial some are not.

Three Good Reasons to have the Tough Conversation

1. I care too much about the person to not say something about a blind spot or a mistake they are repeatedly making which is putting a ceiling over their life or causing them to damage their own reputation unnecessarily.

2. I care too much about the people around the situation – the person is doing damage to the people on their team because I don’t have the courage to work through an issue in their world.

3. I care too much about our church/ department/ organisation because without the tough conversation our organisation will be damaged or compromised because a person will continue to cause the same problems.

Even after this process  – we need to tread carefully and prayfully into the tough conversations – so that they become something a person is eternally grateful for (if not immediately at least in the long run) .

Next week – some tips on the tough conversations .

So glad so many of you enjoyed hearing from Kelly Taylor last week- she is one incredible woman of God. If you are in London- go visit C3 London ( and you will see her and her husband Mike in action- you will also hear some of the finest preaching around as Ps Simon and Valerie McIntyre (  lead that great church.

More guest bloggers coming up – any suggestions are welcome.


Don’t forget to subscribe on the sidebar if you want this blog to come in your in-box without you having to watch for it on Social Media

3 thoughts on “Tough Conversations – Why have them ?

  1. Nate says:

    I would suggest people need to know the desired outcome of tough conversations before having them. I’ve been on the end of some that really were just venting. I wasn’t sure what was the desired outcome. That wasn’t helpful for anybody.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *