What Do You Believe ?

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Boundaries, Dealing with People, Self Managment / 3 Comments

A few months ago a thought took root in my mind. It started as a seed and was soon on its way to becoming a fully grown tree. It was a tree that was covered in thorns and was choking many other trees and my joy.The thought said that my value was linked to a negative in my life circumstances. It took me going on holiday and climbing a mountain to meet with God to get rid of that noxious weed.

It reminded me how important it is to know what we believe – the thought that had taken hold was based on a lie, and I should never have let it take root.

Here are a few areas where we need to know what exactly we believe. (I am sure you can think of so many more)

1. Who God is

I am reminded of the parable of the talents – if we believe, as one of the men did , that God is a hard task mater, it will influence everything about how we live life. It will cause us to bury our talents and live in fear. If we believe God is a goof Father, we will live in confidence and rest in the knowledge that we are loved.

2. The Value of Human Life

If we honestly believe every person is made in the image of God – it will mean that we will value every person we encounter. It means that prejudices and favouritism should not be part of our world. It means that the life of a homeless person is valuable, the life of a disabled person is valuable, the life of a person who has nothing at all to give us is valuable.

3. We can make a difference 

In this media soaked world it is easy to get compassion fatigue, feel overwhelmed and do nothing. Alternatively we can believe that every act of kindness brings a change, that every word can shift an atmosphere – that we can be the light of the world to our family, friends and neighbours.

It is so important to know what we really believe and to keep digging up the seeds of wrong beliefs that we all have . That’s why I love studying theology – it keeps me in a place of seeking to understand the faith I profess. Its why reading the Bible is key to life. We start to see the areas that our beliefs are going to paralyse us or cause us to treat people or ourselves badly. Then we can dig out those noxious trees and live the fulfilling life we were meant to!

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5 Principles I use to Guide me on Social Media

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Dealing with People, Self Managment / Leave a comment

Like many of you I engage with Social Media all day – in one form or another- and until recently it was a large part of my job! So I was paid to be on FaceBook, Instagram and Twitter !

Along the way I have developed a few internal principles I use to guide me – they mean I have boundaries that are in place to help me navigate the wild and wonderful world that is social media

1. Be kind 

Thats it – just be kind. Don’t be mean and vindictive. Don’t shame people publicly. Be kind.

2. Be generous

I LIKE lots of things and i comment when somethings wonderful .

I see it as a very simple way to give people a little bit of encouragement – we all need a little bit of encouragement.

3. Be positive.

I always make sure anything I put up ,even if it is about a tough situation, has Hope in it.

I don’t ever put up my personal struggles. I have close friends and family for that. Random people following me on Instagram may be lovely but they haven’t earned the right to my heart.

4. Don’t get involved in other people’s arguments

I don’t have the time or the energy – and I am not sure it is good use of either. I run away from quarrels and controversy on social media.

I know who I am, I do best if I can sit and talk through an issue face to face.

5. Don’t compare.

We all only put up the photos  that make us look young, hip,  hide our double chins and make our lives look fabulous . So does everyone else. Stephen Furtick says it best “Don’t compare your behind the scenes life to some-one else’s highlight reel”. Instagram is not real life ! Enjoy your own, in the moment, life, don’t let comparisons rob you of it. (This is a work n progress for me)

and a bonus

6. Take a break

Make sure you schedule Social Media Breaks – holidays, Sabbaths – whatever works for you. So you have a time where you disconnect and let your soul restore itself from the input overload.

 

I often wonder how Jesus would have used Social Media. One thing I know – he would have used it to reach people with the Love of the Father – but not in some cheesy christian cartoon !!

Any principles you would like to add ?

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5 Benefits of Turning Your Emails Off at Night

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Boundaries, Enjoying Life, Rest / 8 Comments

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I love technology. I love being connected to friends near and far. I love access to all kinds of input that enriches my world.

However since I got back from my Long Service Leave two years ago I have started turning my emails OFF on my phone at nights and weekends.

Before this I was known to have my emails permanently on – and reply to emails all times of the day and night. I did this mostly because that’s what everyone was doing. I thought it meant I could get ahead of the game and save myself some time at work.

Here are 5 benefits  I have found since I decided to turn Emails OFF at night.

1. It gives me an actual break from work – turns out if I keep emailing at night I am effectively working 12-14 hours and this is exhausting. I need mental and physical rest in the evenings and especially on my sabbath day on the weekend.

2.If I return emails all hours of the day and night people will expect immediate turn around time and I will create an expectation I cannot sustain.

3.  Checking emails at night makes me feel like I am never OFF work and this leads to staleness in the work place. This means that I am actually less productive and creative during my work days.

4. It means I give full attention to my family and friends – instead of giving them a distracted Pam who looks at her phone every time it bings. This gives us all more meaningful connections.

5. It reminds me I am not that important ! Pretty much everything I do can wait until tomorrow to get a response. When something is really urgent people will text. However even this is very rare. When I feel the need to email people back in the evenings it creates a false sense of how important I am. This is a dangerous place to live. I need to be comfortable in my identity as a daughter of God – not as some-one who works all hours of the day and night.

I am hoping I am the only crazy one who had their emails on all hours of the day and night (when I was checking email when I went the bathroom at 2am – I could have guessed I had a problem)

If you are on email at night – I would suggest for the sake of your health and longevity -you turn EMAIL OFF.

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What comes after Trust ?

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Jesus, Self Managment / 7 Comments

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A few ago I wrote on trust – once you get to a place of trust what happens next ?

Trust is a secure and safe harbour, a place to rest until we are strong again.

The place where we simply are, with God, even when we don’t have answers.

But at some point we have to start looking again out to sea.

We have to turn around and face life again.

We have to dare to see the future again.

We have to start to dream again

We have to Hope.

Hope is the expectation that the future is good, because God is good.

Hope is the anchor for the roller coaster of emotions that hit in times of challenge and change.

Hope says this is not what I thought life would be – but that’s OK – it can be rich and wonderful and different.

My hope is not in what I see now. My Hope is in the One who sees the beginning from the end.

Hope allows me to believe that I can risk my heart again.

Hope looks out to sea and moves past Trust to a smile.

Its a tentative smile at first, that moves into a grin of expectation.

Hope starts to get excited at the possibilities ahead.

Trust is Silent and but Hope smiles.

And then giggles.

“She is clothed in dignity and grace, she can laugh at the days to come” Prov 31:25

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5 times you should Drag the Chain

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Church Life, Dealing with People, Self Managment / Leave a comment

The team I work in often comes to me for the quick decisions. I have the ability to make a decision under pressure – in those situations where any decision is a good decision. (Are they always the best decisions – no of course not !).

I also see most things as just a problem to be solved and the sooner it is solved the sooner we can move on.

However in the last few  weeks I have literally forced myself NOT to make a decision, or have a response to a situation.

Here are the 5 times I think that dragging the chain, or slowing down action, is an appropriate plan of action .

1. When we are over tired.

Not just normal tired that most if us live with in the 21st Century. The “I have just been through a very busy season, have not been sleeping well, really need a holiday ” tiredness. None of us make good decisions when we are overtired.

2. When we are angry or hurt.

We should rarely make a decision out of an emotional response. I had to make a decision in the last week about something that had caused me to feel a little hurt. I forced myself to work through the hurt, to process it and then to make a decision that was rational and calm, and ultimately better for all concerned.

3. When we know you don’t have all the information.

I often have people come to my office with a story about some misdemeanour or other one of our students have committed. Experience, learned the hard way, now means I make sure I talk to the student involved and any other people involved to get as complete a picture as I can. I do this before I make any decisions or recommendations.

4. When we need to get people on board.

It is important to involve people who will be effected by a decision. They often can see things from an angle that you won’t and can help you make the right call. If you leave them out of the process they will resent the decision and have more trouble implementing it. I work with lots of contract lecturers who have diferent schedules. This  means it is difficult to meet to work through decisions. However it is always worth it to involve key stake holders.

5. When the decision has long reaching strategic implications – obviously.

These decisions need time, counsel of many, the wisdom of Solomon and lots of prayer. These are not really the sort of decisions I am addressing here.

Obviously there are may times when a quick decision is a good decision. However these are a few times when I have experienced the power of dragging the chain.

What about you ?

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Sometimes “Its All Good ” is not Good

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Church Life, Dealing with People / 4 Comments

I was talking to one of my students about a situation and he said to me “Don’t worry it’s all good”. Here was the problem – it was not good right then. I know he was trying to not be a problem and he has a heart of gold . In that moment I had to say to him “no this is not good but I can fix it for you and it will be good”

So then I started pondering – when is saying “It’s All Good” not good . Here is what I came up with

1. When “Its all good” stops you fighting for some-one.

In the case of my student, I needed to fight for something for him. It wasn’t anything major but it was significant right there and then. If I had have accepted his “Its all good” I would have been lazy in my care of his life. Leaders – don’t accept the “it’s all good” when you have the power to help some-one. We need to value our people and fight for them.

2. When “It’s all good” negates someone’s stress or challenge.

I have had some people tell me “its all good” at some times of extreme pressure . Really what I wish they would have done is given me a hug, or actually encouraged me or even offered help .” It’s all good” can minimise the very real pressure a person is under or the pain they are in.

The last thing we want to do is make people feel like their pain or stress is not important to us – we are people who mourn with those who mourn. “It’s all good ” glibly spoken can break people’s trust in our leadership.

3. When we use “Its all good” to block out people close to us

People are not stupid, if they care about you they can tell when you are not doing well.  “Its all good” can actually shut people down who want to be there for you. We all need a few people in our world that we don’t say “its all good” to.

Now before you start throwing Romans 8:28 at me, read it again , “And we know in all things God works for the good of those who love him and have been called according to his purposes”.

God will work it out for good. It WILL be “all good”.

However right now it may not be – and to say ” it’s all good” doesn’t acknowledge reality.

Today it may not be all good – and we can acknowledge that – and God will not fall off his throne. We can believe for a better tomorrow in the midst of a tough today.

Can you add to my list of times when “Its all Good” is not good. Lets see how long this list can go.

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People are Surprising !

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Uncategorized / 2 Comments

I have been surprised again by the incredible things that are within people.

This week  the third year C3 College students doing their Gallop Strength tests and had some coaching in this area. As they sent me their results – for a lot of them I was not surprised . Their strengths are obvious and clear cut.

For others I was totally shocked- I had not seen those strengths in them at all.

It reminded me that there is so much more to most people than we see. There are hidden strengths and talents that take some care and time to see fulfilled.

Most people are like the beautiful lilies the College staff gave me. When they arrived they were closed buds with some pretty green leaves.

But this week they have opened into the gorgeous pink blooms you see in the photo. (Next week they will be dead and messy but lets not go there !)

Sometimes we can be too quick to put people in a box or even right them off .

When really there is so much treasure within them  just waiting to be revealed.

I am convinced again – to look past what I see with my eyes. To see people how God sees them. To look for the treasure within.

I love working with dancers and artists – their eyes see beauty everywhere. They make incredible pastors and mentors.

I want to be like them-  I want to see the beauty in every person – and I want to help unlock the gifts and talents in people.

Last week was Mothers Day – and one of the most amazing Mothers ever was Mary . She saw what was within Jesus. She had the servants line up those water jars. She gently (ish ) pushed him into ministry. She launched the public ministry of the Messiah !

Who knows who we can launch if we can see what is within them.

I am so glad people looked past what they saw and gave this insecure, shy, pretty messed up girl a go.

I dont want to be shocked again by people’s strengths (or their weaknesses) – I want to have spent the time to see them. How about you ?

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant, I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)