Emotional Multitasking – not always easy but essential, especially at Christmas

I have had an unusual week – as I am sure many of you have- it is the festive season and it all gets a little nuts.

On Monday I was reading and praying at the wedding of dear friends. Yesterday I was at work, followed by a divorce mediation meeting I am part of as a Pastor. After that I picked up my Mum and sister and went into the city to see the gorgeous Christmas lights on St Mary’s cathedral  you see above.

Today I was in strategy meetings till lunch, then a church staff Christmas party and then I came home to prepare for a funeral I am conducting. Then I will perform the funeral for a good friends of mine’s brother who died too young – and later this week there are more Christmas parties  to go to and a 50th birthday – all the while doing my best to support my friend who has lost her brother and my friend who has lost her marriage.

It’s not always this extreme – but it often is like this for many of us in any type of ministry. We have to learn the art of what I am calling for lack of a better term ; emotional multitasking . It can feel very unusual as we have to slip from one emotional state to another sometimes in a matter of moments.

I remember being at a College celebration dinner while staff members who are very close to me were loosing a beautiful baby girl.  It felt very bizarre to be at a party at that time. Chatting it over with another staff member, the very talented and wise Simon Ray, and he reminded me of Rom 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn” – I had never realised I may have to actually do these things at the same time. I had to rejoice with the students who had graduated and mourn for the loss of a baby girl. It was a very strange feeling!

Some of us in ministry will be walking alongside some people in very challenging situations while still trying to enjoy our families Christmas.  We cannot allow the ministry we are doing to rob us or our families of the joy we have. We have to be able to empathise and support while still fully engaging in our own families.

I have a few thoughts on how to do it – please feel free to add to it in the comments and help us all

1. Pray a lot – give the situations to God and trust him with them

2. Learn how you process and do it.  I verbally process so I will talk about how I am feeling with a few close friends (See my earlier post on friends   )

3. Know the state of your heart –  when it is getting overwhelmed – take some time out, even an hour in a café or on a beach to refresh

4. Don’t feel guilty about the joy you are feeling- enjoy what God has given you.

5. Be in the moment- really feel what is going on in that moment  – good or bad. It is part of being alive to feel. If you shut down your feelings you will become a shadow of yourself.

6. Understand that dealing with high emotion is stressful even as a support person – do the normal things you do to deal with stress -sleep, eat well, exercise , laugh etc etc

Let the dialogue on this begin- looking forward to your wisdom …..

(THis is my last blog for 2013 – going on annual leave on Friday for 2 weeks- will be visiting family in Perth and Adelaide for Christmas and New year -lying on the beach, reading lots of books, eating festive foods – as well as tasting some excellent wines from Margaret River and the Barossa Valley I am hoping ! Keeping my boundaries strong and going off line for my vacation. So won’t be back till on the blog till around Jan 9. Thanks for coming on this crazy adventure in 2013- be back in 2014 – have a Happy and Holy Christmas – and a fabulous New Year ! )