Sometimes its OK to be Not OK

In recent months  I have had a few moments of driving home from work thinking – “I am not OK” .

This is a weird concept for me because as a person with areas of leadership responsibilities I am used to pulling myself up by my bootstraps and carrying on.

However here is what I have discovered in this season, that most of you already know I am sure.

If I admit to myself I am not OK – then I can then start to do something about being not OK.

If I continue to tell myself and the world, its all good, I am OK, then I don’t do anything about what is going on and nothing gets resolved.

There were times when Jesus was not OK. He wept when Lazarus died. He withdrew when John the Baptist was beheaded. In the garden of Gethsemane his soul was overwhelmed ( this is an extreme example I know but you get the point)

Jesus did not bottle those emotions and say “Don’t worry people ! Its all good” .

No he dealt with the pain in a real and honest way.

As people in areas of leadership and ministry, we have to be able to deal with what is going on in our world in a healthy way. We have to be able to say to the people closest to us  “I am not OK at the moment “. We have to be able to say to ourselves ” I am not OK at the moment – and I need to stop and do something about it” .

We need to be able to look at the dashboard of our lives and see which gauge is dropping through the floor, and then know how to go about remedying that.

Some times life just knocks the stuffing out of you – as my friend Vicki Simpson said to me the other day – and you just need to know that and be OK with it. You need to know that with time you will be OK again.

Sometimes when I am feeling not OK, all I really need is a few early nights with a good book or some good food and good wine with good friends. Sometimes it is more serious.

We will never know unless we can admit to ourselves, “I am not OK “.

Most importantly if we never say to God “I am not OK”  – we can never allow him to fill us with what we need. We can never make the great exchange with him of our ashes for his beauty, our worries for his peace, our weakness for his strength and our pain for his comfort.

Now that’s a great motivation for getting honest with yourself right there !

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30 thoughts on “Sometimes its OK to be Not OK

  1. heather says:

    So true! If we don’t admit it, we can’t receive healing and take time to grow past it. P.S. Thinking about Jesus speaking in Pam-isms makes me laugh! “Don’t worry people! Its all good!” Miss my daily Pam.

  2. Amy Burkholder says:

    It is always encouraging to me to hear my thoughts and feelings echoed by someone else, especially someone I look up to so much. Thank you for reminding us it’s Ok to not be ok. I believe we are becoming a heathier church by being real while still having faith. Praying that you are continuing to fill back up and taking care of you.

    • Jan H. Overton says:

      This sure hits home. I am trying to be OK. It is hard when you have been sick for a year, feel like puking most all the time, and people say… look good. I am “walking on the Word” as Pastor Steve said at our recent C3 Atlanta Conference……Amy, I love your statement of “being real while still having faith.”
      Pam, you are an inspiration. I pray your gauge is filling up fast as you are pouring into the lives of others.

      • says:

        Thanks so much Jan- believing that your season of illness will be done soon. I had a season of illness that was pretty debilitating about 10 years ago – they are the best of times and the worst of times. You learn so much- you experience such kindness from some and such disappointment from others – and God is near.
        Look after yourself and yes- as Amy said- “Be real while still having faith”

  3. Linda says:

    So great you are so real Pam and have a unique way of accepting and normalising, that life is full of Ok’s and Not Ok’s! I love Ok’s but have … I’m not Ok’s days too.

  4. Sarah Johnson says:

    This is a great reminder Pam. I have been struggling with not being “OK” through some difficult things in my life over the past two years. Just tonight I pressed into prayer while preparing dinner. I thanked God for the things he’s doing behind the scenes. The more I prayed, the more encouraged I felt and the negativity melted away. I wanted to pour out more and more thanks, like a Psalm. God showed me that I had done what His word says – to put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heavyness. And now I read your advice which says to stop, admit you’re not OK and then identify how to remedy it. Confirmation for me (and everyone) that God cares about every detail, and turning to him is always going to be the right decision. Thanks Pam! I’ll be reading this post a few times I think 🙂

    • says:

      Oh Sarah – that is the best. Mind blowing that the God of the universe can be so into every detail of our lives. Love you Sarah xx

    • says:

      Thanks Janina- hope the re-entry into Germany is going as well as possible ! See you in September

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