Pray Until

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Yesterday morning I woke up in a funk. There are probably a myriad of reasons why. So I slept in a little and then did my usual thing, I took the puppy and went for a walk in a little bush reserve near my house. I walk around a loop – normally I do about three laps and pray, and the dog chases rabbits. It works for both of us!

Today I just kept doing another lap – I had to keep going because I needed to keep praying

I had to pray until …

I stopped complaining

I got my eyes off myself

I realised I was being an idiot

I remembered how big God is

I started to be grateful for all I have

I wish I could tell you that then I interceded for the nations and went through my whole prayer list. I didn’t –  I just needed to get with God to allow him to shift my attitude. I know we need to pray and intercede but some times we just need to be real with God about where we are.

Some days are just like that- and as a person with responsibility for others I have to be able  to pray until. I don’t have the luxury of taking my funk into College. For those of us in any type of leadership this is leadership 101- don’t dump your stress/ concerns/funk on the team.

As I walked the Holy Spirit came along side and gently reminded me of who God is and therefore who I am.

Most days are not like that, I am naturally pretty buoyant – but yesterday was like that – and I am so glad I have been taught to pray until ….

 

 

Do you have Boundaries that Creep ?


This week my iPhone froze – it just wouldn’t do anything – after a few frustrating minutes I realised I had not turned it off for weeks and it probably needed a reset. So I turned it off, allowed it, some downtime and when I turned it back on it was back to normal.

I wonder if sometimes we need to do the same thing, stop, turn off and reset.

I have done that today – and with some help from staff sending me texts telling me to get off email when I was supposed to be having leave yesterday and today- I have realised that  I am suffering from boundary creep!

We have been through an unusually hectic time at work – and there are some very valid reasons why I needed to put in some extra time and effort . Some of the things I know are crucial to my life- like turning off work emails at night -have snuck back into my world while I wasn’t  looking! Unless I stop and reset this will becomes a lifestyle (again!!)

I work with some people who have brilliant boundaries that rarely move – and I envy them. However I am sure some of you are like me and you suffer from creeping boundaries too.

Maybe it’s time to switch yourself off and go back to the boundaries you know are healthy. If you need some motivation- a reminder of somethings you know.

4 Reasons to Keep Healthy Boundaries

1) Without healthy boundaries you will be tired all the time and will actually need to work longer to achieve the results you want. Studies have shown our productivity decreases when we start doing long hours – we think it is achieving our goals but it is counter productive.

2) Without healthy boundaries you will become resentful and angry about the things that you actually love to do. The martyr complex sneaks in – and it is not pleasant.

3) Without healthy boundaries you will spend time at work that you should be spending with people in your world and relationships will suffer. Also when you are with your family and friends you will be irritable and tired (and you could lose it at your brother over something stupid like I did last week )

4) Without healthy boundaries you will not look after your own body and burn out or get sick.

So I am resetting my boundaries again – I am fighting the creep and putting the lines back in the sand.  I know it will allow me to go the distance.  I want a life like that photo I took at sunrise on Narrabeen Lake  – full of colour, life and peace- can’t get it without having some things in order!

Are your boundaries creeping ?? What helps you to reset ?

 

 

 

 

 

A Week out of the Sweet Spot

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Life works so much better when we are living in our sweet spots. When our skills, knowledge, personality and giftings work together in whatever we are doing. It is the place we all want to get to.

Sometimes however you have to live in your “not so sweet spot” for a myriad of reasons and it makes you remember how sweet the sweet spot is- and it is actually a really good reminder.

This week I spent 5 days straight working on accreditation of training. Now I know a bit about accreditation from sheer necessity. C3 College where I work in runs accredited training- we are a Registered Training Organization . God also gave me a decent brain so I can learn and read fairly quickly. We had an accreditation deadline and that became a problem to solve for us – and I love solving problems.  I also have an  active sense of responsibility so hence I was deep in a land of details and government mumbo jumbo all week. Totally not my sweet spot.

However every role in life has some areas that are not our sweet spots and we would be deluded to think we would always be in perfect flow in our work places . Although flow is the optimal place to be – according to Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi. ( Never heard of flow- let me help – it’s a theory of your ideal work and creativity conditions- here is a simple graph to help. )

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However sometimes you can’t be in flow- and work is just that – work !

However this week I  learned again what happens when I am out of my sweet spot , or not in flow.

1. Tiredness – I think 8 hours of intense details for me feels like about 12 hours of any other work.

2. Irritability – I get very grumpy when I am working for long periods of time on things that are not in my sweet spot. I think it stems from basic insecurity- I know I am not the expert in this field, I am second guessing myself all the time and so I am on edge.

3.  In order to get it done I become very tunnelled visioned and can’t deal with much else. Not a good way to live life at all. Only advisable for very short periods of time.

4. When you have a sense of purpose you can do anything – this was a very short season. However one of the team I work with is frequently  out of his sweet spot, and he does it because he sees the bigger picture and can see the pathway into his sweet spot .

The biggest key I learnt again was that when you are not in your sweet spot you had better be there with some good people who have lots of grace. This week I worked with an incredible team who pulled of a mountain of work – and it made it all possible. The fact that we were in this sour spot together helped me so much. I did annoy them by walking around singing “everything is awesome, everything is cool when you are part of a team ” from the Leggo movie – but honestly I felt it .

I feel a great sense of achievement about what our team achieved this week – and personally I pushed through and got my part of the  job done, which is a great feeling.

However I am excited to get back into  the sweet spot next week – where life works, the sun shines and work is energising.

I am grateful my role is frequently right in the middle of my sweet spot. Is yours ? Or do you feel like I did this week all the time ? Might be time for a change. Don’t live your whole life not using your incredible gifts and talents.

Back to feeling relaxed again !

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Questioning Easter

02Do you ever try to put yourself into the Bible  narrative and wonder what it was really like? I do. Today in class , I was teaching on the realities of what Jesus attained for us on the cross. I love teaching theology! However when it comes to Easter I often find myself pondering and reflecting on not the theological implications but what would it have been like to be there – I want to ask  some questions

1.What was it really like in the garden when the Roman guard came to arrest Jesus- what were the disciples thinking- did they feel like this was the end for them too -how scared were they ?

2. What did it feel like to be Mary , standing watching your son and Saviour suffer?

3. What happened to the Centurian who declared “Surely this was the Son of God ” – did he feel guilt and sadness at being part of Jesus’s death?

4. Was there a priest in the temple when the curtain, that was around a foot thick, ripped from top to bottom- how did he process that ? Did he know that he could now enter God’s presence or did he run out screaming in fear?

5. What was it like for your average Jew when the sky went dark at 3pm in the afternoon- what did they think had just happened?

6. How was it for the women who went to the tomb to find it empty?

7. What was the human reaction to the pivotal point in human history , the moment Jesus died on a cross with the sin of the world on him, and then rose from the grave when death could not hold him down?

8 . Did they have any idea what it really meant ?

My questions allow me to enter into the story and remind myself again that there were human reactions to a God encounter .

In the end the story is a love story, in the end a simple love story – it is about God who loved humanity so much that he would let his Son die for them.

Did they understand that at the time – do I understand the depths of it today? Do I just listen to the Easter story, as something very familiar,  and not take time to appreciate what it really means?

Happy Easter – hope you ask yourself some questions this Easter as you reflect, remember and celebrate Jesus !

(The art work is by Ps Phil Pringle – not only my Senior Pastor but professional artist – one of the most moving Easter experiences I have had was watching him paint Jesus on the cross live ! http://philpringle.com/artgallery )

 

Hospitality- a holy calling

This week in our combined Staff and Student meeting Ps Phil made the statement that hospitality is a holy calling. It resonated with me. I believe it is true. That showing hospitality no matter how you do it – is a way to express God’s love in a unique and important way – and have a really wonderful time.

I know that we can express hospitality in all different ways- but I think there is something really special about having people in our own homes and looking after them. I worry sometimes that in our restaurant and café culture we lose something of the joy of hosting.

I am thinking about it more too as Easter approaches- in this essentially non-Christian country we have a 4 day weekend for Easter and I have an empty house. I am trying to figure out who I can have in my home (and use the other empty part of the house I share with my brother and sister-in-law and the little nephews) . I know for sure I am having my connect group for Hot Cross buns on Good Friday after church- which will be festive.

I am not the best hostess in the world but here are some things I know

1) It doesn’t have to be expensive- Good Friday we will have Hot Cross buns, some fruit and tea and coffee – and if last year is anything to gauge it on- a good time will be had by all

2) People need to feel like we have prepared a place for them and want them to be in our homes- we may not have a 5 course menu but we have lit the candles and turned on the music and we have something for them to eat or drink on arrival.

3) Food and wine bring connection – sitting down with people over a meal or a hot cross bun or a cup of tea and a cookie – connects in a way that is almost magic.

Inviting people into our homes can be risky- one of your favourite wine glass may get broken- they may open your bathroom cupboard and find out you are not as neat as they thought – you may burn the roast or under cook the lamb (me last weekend) – but really it is worth the risk.

The last thing Jesus did with his disciples was to have a meal with them – we call it the Last Supper, and we focus on the things he said. However I wonder if the twelve,  when they looked back focused instead on how it felt to have a meal together , one last time.

At Easter- lets eat with people – lets have them in our homes – in remembrance of Him .

What if they don’t change?

943561_483889365034192_298354512_nThis post is dedicated to my friend Jenn who cares enough to write me long emails challenging me on things  I publish and even calls from NY to clarify ! That’s her above with her wonderful husband Matt,their beautiful daughter Grace and me. I love them.

What if the people in your life never change? What if all your prayer and pleading with God amounts to nothing, will you be OK ?

We only have authority over our own lives to bring change – and even then we will not reach perfection this side of heaven. So we can pray and pray and hint and confront but people only change when they are ready and see the need for change.  So we had better get happy with the people in our world and how they are right now.

THis doesn’t stop us believing the best in people and trusting God that he is doing a good work in all of us. However I have found that God’s priorities are different to mine. I wish he would work on the annoying habits in my family/friends/ bosses/ staff/ students lives – but frequently he sees other things that are more important to him and works on them. I am sure this works in reverse, that there are people who have prayed and believed for me to change in an area that I don’t see it and may never.

I have had numerous conversations this week with people believing for people to change- and in some cases betting their future on it – it is a risky business. Better to ask yourself these questions

If he/she never gets a better job do I still want to marry them? If he/she never sorts out this issue are they the sort of person I want to be friends with? If he/she never changes their manner am I happy to follow them? If he/she never gets more skilled in this area do I still believe in them?

People have free will – and they use it. Its a glorious thing God gave us. However don’t we all wish sometimes he would override it and just sort out the stuff in people that bugs us and make our lives more simple! Ha

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5 Tips to working in the Family Business of church!

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Now we all know church is the family of God and so it is a spiritual family.  However what people often miss is that church is also a family business in terms of how it often runs – as in a natural family business. Some churches are like ” mom and Pop ” stores some are like multinational multigenerational public companies – but at their heart they are all family businesses which have levels of nepotism.

 

 This is a good thing in my humble opinion. Why?  Because church is not like any other company , even though it runs by the relevant company law. People who work in churches cannot be separate  from their private lives because part of the qualification of ministry is to have your marriage/family/ household in order . Actually I want my Pastor or Ministry Leader to be a devoted husband or wife before they are a good minister. I want them to love, believe in and champion  their kids . I don’t want to serve some one who does not love their family.

 

Sometimes this may mean that they elevate their family members when we think we are more skilled or suited for a role. It’s OK – God is big enough to work with the natural bonds of family within a church and still see our hopes and dreams realised .
This does make the environment a little unique- and at times challenging – I don’t gave the answers to it all – but here are a few tips I picked up along the way. (Please note These tips won’t work for highly dysfunctional situations or where sin is being covered – these call for oversight stepping in.)

 

 1. You had better get on with your Pastor/ Ministry Leaders spouse – you don’t gave to be best friends – but they will be around much more than in other work places – so it’s important to connect . Their role can be ambiguous and challenging – love them you don’t know what’s it’s like to live their life .

 

2. A spouse also needs to trust you – and you gain trust by never giving them any reason not to trust you and always being appropriate especially if you are the opposite sex to your Pastor/ Ministry leader.

 

3. Connect with the kids – believe me your life will be so much richer for it- and they may grow up to significant roles in the church and you will need to work alongside them.

 

4. Never create a situation where they have to chose between you and  a close family member – they should always chose their spouse or child over you – so don’t even go there – find  another way to resolve an issue.

 

5. People can never be unbiased towards their family members – and nor should they ever be, that would be weird- so don’t expect it. We can’t expect people to turn off their love and support of their family at work especially in church life. We actually expect them to be the best parents and spouses they can be – so don’t get too bent out of shape when that has an out working you don’t enjoy. (Some people have tried so hard to not be biased that they have chosen deliberately against family members even when they are the right fit for a role – this leads to all kinds of problems)

 

 Obviously the Pastor/ Ministry Leader needs to put in place safe guards to make sure that their family is involved in church life in a way that is healthy and wise, setting them up for success so they are in the right roles for their gifting and character.  They won’t always get this right , when this happens our role is to be grateful they love their family and make the situation work the best we can. When we are allowed to speak into such a situation do so with much prayer and great restraint remembering points 4 and 5!
This is not a new situation – on the cross as he was dying, the one person Jesus was concerned to look after was his Mum. In his toughest hour, under extreme pressure, he remembered the earthly family he was born into.

 

What tips do you have in working in the family business of church?  Any points you agree or disagree with here ? I am working it out as I go along like you are!
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