Trust is Quiet

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Self Managment / 16 Comments

Lately I am watching a whole lot of people  go through various types of challenges and changes. At these times, it is those with the quiet trust in God who seem to be navigating these times with more ease.

“Faith is Loud, Trust is Quiet” – I love this thought from Mark Kelsey – and ponder it often and out of it I have some thoughts of my own on trust

So here are a few thoughts from me on trust

Trust kicks in when nothing makes sense.

Trust calms the storm inside our souls.

Trust is the quiet place inside us that says everything will be all right, even if its not all right, it will be all right.

Trust gives us security and then this security feels like a  safe harbour for the people around us.

Trust is the weight in our keel – that keeps us coming back upright, even after we capsize.

Trust knows Jesus is in the boat, maybe asleep, but still in the boat.

Trust knows God is good even when life screams that it he is not.

Trust allows our souls to reach out to God, in the middle of the night, when fear overwhelms.

Trust keeps walking through disappointment and grief.

Faith might breakthrough but trust holds on.

Trust holds onto God no matter what – it says ” Though you slay me I will trust you”.

Trust is two young men facing a firing squad singing Amazing Grace.

Trust is quiet and it is powerful – it will not be moved.

 

Those of us who lead people must be able to trust God in the good times and in the bad. We have to be able to access our trust in God to strengthen our souls and keep us moving onwards, to keep us building and not tearing down, to keep us running to God and not from him. Trust knows there are unanswered questions but they are not going stop us running the race set before us.

Every day I know I need to trust God more than I do – how about you ?

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant, I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)

Flick the Fake

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Enjoying Life, Self Managment, Uncategorized / 8 Comments

Recently at the annual Presence Conference that my church holds I heard a message from Steven Furtick that really resonated with me. It was a message on Jacob and how until Jacob was real with who he was, stopped pretending to be his brother to get the blessing and stopped running from conflict, that God would not bless him.

He used this great analogy that has been paying around in my mind and made me think and challenged me again.

Here is how Furtick put it

We have our Frustrating Self – the self who is in the present, the one with flaws and failings that we see, but have not yet worked through.

We have our Future Self – the one who is more like Jesus, the one we are going to be when we lose 20 pounds, figure out how to always stay calm under pressure and have memorised all our favourite verses from Proverbs.

Then we have the self that spans the gap –  all too aware of the frustrating self , wanting to be the future self and so pretends to be where we are not yet – the Fake Self.

The problem is the Fake Self cannot have a real connection with God or with People – because it is a FAKE !

I have always been challenged to be real – to not try to pretend to be anything I am not. The people pleaser in me loves to be my Fake Self to impress. The sanguine in me fears rejection wonders if anyone will still like me if I am real.

In the last 10 years especially I have learned some phrases that have helped me to be real – here they are

1. I don’t know

Whether in a class lecturing, in a meeting I am leading, at home looking after my nephews – I can express a total lack of knowledge and be OK.

2. I am sorry

I need to be able to actually admit I messed up and be OK – and then I need to go back to the person I messed up with and apologise. If I ignore it I am being my Fake Self, assuming everything I do is right – what bondage that is !

3. I am responsible

If I am being real I can take responsibility for my own decisions and actions and live with it.

 

In an era where we all image mange – making sure the photos on social media show us in the best light having the best time with the best people – there is huge pressure to be fake. (To fight this – the photo in this post is me  in my new reading glasses, getting old, at the end of a day where the hair straightener died and the make-up has long since disappeared !)

Even this week I have been challenged to be real, to admit my struggles (to people who have the grace to deal with them), to know that Future Pam is coming but right now I am stuck with Frustrating Pam – but she is the one God can use .

Fake Pam is no use to anyone !

Lets all Flick the Fake this week – and be real with where we are at. Its the only way to move towards our future selves.

Love to hear your tips on being real.

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant, I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)

 

Easter Reflection

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Jesus, Uncategorized / 2 Comments

Today I had the honour of preaching on Good Friday at a stunning Indonesian Church – called Ecclesia Church . Two of the College graduates Andrew and Beth are on leadership there – I love them – I would do anything they asked me to – so today with not a little fear and trembling – I delivered my first ever Good Friday message.

As I prepared I read all four gospel accounts of the Crucifixion of Jesus and two little verses stood out to me- and I realised that they summed up all that happened on Good Friday . That before Paul could write Romans and unpack the theology of the Cross- that God had shown us what it all means in two incidents it is easy to overlook.

1. At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split. (Matt 27:51 )

Why is this so significant ? We all know that sin deserves punishment- when some-one does something wrong, our society will prosecute them and punish them, it is a value deep in our culture. So as humanity we know  we are all fallen and that most days we also individually sin and do something that separates us from a Holy God.

Because of  this only the priest could enter the Holy of Holies and only after having performed the proper sacrifices to pay for the sins of the nation. This curtain it is estimated was 60 feet high, 30 feet wide and 4 inches thick – a man could not have torn it – God tore it to show that Jesus had made the sacrifice once and for all .

The curtain was ripped and anyone could approach God! I wish I could tell you how excited this makes me !!

2. “Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom!” And He said to him, “Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise (Luke 23:43)

I love this little conversation between Jesus and one of the thieves  hanging on another cross that same day.

Here is why I love it – because that thief could do nothing to please God at that point. He was hanging on a cross dying. All he did was acknowledge that Jesus was king (you have to be a king to have a kingdom) – he put his faith in Jesus . Jesus said that Today he would be with him in paradise.

Why does this move me- because the sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross is enough – nothing we can do can add to it. I can stop trying to please God – Jesus has done it on my behalf once and for all.

This week I remembered that the curtain that separated me from God was torn – Jesus had paid the price – and there is nothing I can do to add to it.

This my friends is Good News !! Maybe we all need to remember it today. Happy Easter !

The beautiful cross is from Phil Pringle Art http://philpringle.worldsecuresystems.com/artgallery

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant, I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)

Keeping it Real

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Church Life, Dealing with People, Uncategorized / 5 Comments

Ever been to a restaurant or café that is the latest big thing?

All your friends have been to it already and have raved.

You finally get there, your food come out, and suddenly you have no idea what all the fuss is about.

Your expectations were high and you are now dealing with disappointment.

When we are leading people we have to try and avoid this situation, because there is so much more at stake than the cost of dinner.

 

Here is a few thoughts on Keeping it Real in no particular order

  • We have to explain the expectations – especially when they are volunteering – people need to know how much time they will be giving, what to wear, when they will eat, what they will be doing. These practicalities communicate to people that you value them and are looking after them.
  • We have to be real with the things that we have control over. I often tell the College students I cannot get our local bus lines to put a bus route to our Campus – I have no authority over them – and I have called and asked but to no avail. I want the bus to stop outside College but it won’t help anyone if I promise what I surely cannot deliver.
  • We have to be realistic about what we can give of our time to the people we are leading. If we set up an expectation that we cannot meet, it might make us feel good when we are making the promise – but we will lose people’s trust when we can’t  deliver.
  • Help people to be realistic about people in leadership – honouring is so important – but it cannot lead to a zone where perfection is expected. People are people- they have different roles- but this side of heaven none of them are without failings and flaws. To expect perfection of leaders is incredibly unfair to them.

We have to keep it real – and still have faith in the mix. It’s a tricky balance and  depending on our personality we will tip over into either hyper faith or negativity.

When people’s expectations are not met they deal with a whole range of emotions from mild disappointment  to a total break of trust.

Lets be realistic with people- and treat them with the respect they deserve. Lets be  filled with faith but real. I love the verse that says Abraham considered his body as good as dead but still believed God. He was real and in faith!

One day I’ll get the balance right- what about you ?

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant, I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)

 

When is Enough Enough?

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Enjoying Life, Self Managment / 2 Comments

Last week at my connect group I found myself in a conversation with some remarkable women and we asked the question “When is Enough Enough?

We live in a world that is saturated with a message of “More More More “. All the marketing in the world screams at us that we need a bigger home,  a new car, an expensive holiday, the latest phone – and one that is actually true – we need more shoes!

Beyond the material things, social media can make us feel like we need a new life- that everyone else’s life is better. Other people have lives that are  more glamorous, exciting and effective than ours is.

Everywhere we go there is a message that we need to HAVE more and BE more and to be honest some days that excites me and most days it just makes me feel tired.

In the midst of it all is the question how should a believer live in this type of world ?

There is no doubt in my mind that we need to be constantly expanding in some areas of our lives – we need to be going from faith to faith, we need to be seeing our character strengthen and grow and we need to have more and more love for the people in our worlds. We need to be people who are pressing on to take hold of that which Christ Jesus took hold of us for .

However sometimes I wonder if  we need to embrace a more simple life.

(I say this timidly because I live in a gorgeous place and we are currently building a new bigger deck – because the old one was rotten – and I had a family Christmas in Fiji  -I really don’t want to be hypocritical)

I do wonder though When is Enough Enough ? When do we stop buying and acquiring and enjoy what we have.  Is the answer in the words of Paul  “I have learned the secret of being content”.

I have thought about this so much over the years – and I drift in and out of contentment.

Contentment is a wonderful place to live- contentment enjoys the moment, contentment is grateful, contentment enjoys the unique life that God has given us.

I am going to keep batteling  to live content- because discontentment eats away at me and is never satisfied. I think that contentment says this is enough for today! This is the day the Lord has made- I will rejoice and be glad in it.

How do you stay content in our crazy world ?

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant- I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)

 

 

Stop and Re-Set

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Enjoying Life, Self Managment / Leave a comment

It’s already March and I don’t know about you but for me that means not only a change of actual season – but also a change a work cycle. The College students are back, and the mania of the first few weeks is almost over and I need to settle into a new rhythm.

In the past I would have just allowed the craziness of a change of season to run its own pace and I would play catch up – however I am old enough now to know I need to stop and spend some time re-setting.

Maybe your season has not changed, maybe you have just experienced the boundaries creep , maybe you set goals this year but you have drifted from them, maybe your kids have settled into school and now you can breathe and plan.

Maybe you need to join me in Stopping and Re-Setting – here is what I am going to do – maybe you need to do your own form of it too

  • I am going to stop and enjoy  the successes of the past season – for me a large part of the past season was submitting and passing my  MTh thesis , and the start of a new College year- don’t race past these things without celebrating them.
  • I am going to look at the times I messed up and try to see what I learned from the process – I have so much to learn from my constant mistakes!
  • I am going to look at my schedule and make sure it is aligned with my priorities – gonna make sure prayer, rest and exercise have not been crowded out in the change of season – as I know this is my default ( and a very unhealthy default it is )
  • I am going to look to God for a word or sense of what the next season holds.
  • I am going to plan to have fun – because as a sanguine I know I need to !

At the moment there are some unusual family pressures, I have so much to do at home, people to see etc etc  – like you all have- but if I don’t get down to my favourite beach one morning  this weekend , and stop and re-set – the next season will be a mess I know !

Do you need to join me in Re-setting ? Carve out the time, even if its only half an hour at the end of a busy day – and stop and allow some time to breathe.

To start the weekend -I am off to my connect group – we are just celebrating, because so many people have had significant life events – we have a baby, a big promotion, a house sold and a house bought and birthdays to celebrate and thank God for – it will be wonderful.

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant- I can promise it will always be real ! My aim is that it would always be helpful)

Following is a Trust Issue

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Self Managment, Uncategorized / Leave a comment

Last year I learnt some key  things about being a mentor from my Masters Supervisor ( See here  for that lesson) but I also learnt a whole lot about following.

Just so you understand for most of last year I was pretty convinced that at any moment they were going to find out how much I did not know and how much I am not an academic and throw me out of the Masters of Theology program. I did it simply because I knew it was outside of my comfort zone and so I should challenge myself. I also wanted to keep learning and growing.

So after getting a supervisor I really wanted and respected here is what I did. I did exactly what he told me to do!

I have to tell you there were times when the only reason I did what he told me was because I trusted him. I knew academically he was, and is, streets ahead of me.

One of the first things he told me to do was to read a 750 page book on the philosophy of hermeneutics. I have to tell you I could not see the connection between this work and my thesis which centred around Discipleship and Abundant Life. However I ploughed through that book with Google Dictionary as my guide because I trusted Dave.

He then had me read another 300 page book on pentecostal philosophy and around 200 pages on the New Perspective on first century Jews.

I thought I was going to be reading dense difficult books forever!

Then I started work on what was my topic and I have to tell you I still didn’t get the connection.

Seven months later I was doing my analysis and conclusions and suddenly it all clicked into place – the keys to everything I was doing was in those works. (Another bonus these books are no longer difficult and dense to me, but a joy !)

I followed because I trusted and it all came together and made sense in the end.

However academically I know I need help – often I don’t get how much I need help and I don’t always trust the leadership above me as I should.

I was so challenged to trust in a new way, to trust when I don’t understand, to trust when I can’t see where I was going, to trust when I am being asked to do something difficult and challenging.

I learnt an old lesson again, I rarely see the whole picture and I need people ahead of me and I need to trust them. As we get older it is so easy to lose the humility of trust. I certainly needed to be reminded of it again.

How do you fond trusting people God has placed in your life to lead you ? What has affected that trust?

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant- I can promise it will always be real ! My aim is that it would always be helpful)