Enjoying Life

Laugh till you cry, cough or snort – Often

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Boundaries, Enjoying Life / 2 Comments

So I understand this blog has a very lame graphic – an emoji ! But to be honest it is the emoji I use most in my life. I use it because I am convinced that the gift of laughter is key to a great life.

I started to think about this a few weeks ago when I was in a stupidly busy week (my own fault said yes to way too many things – still a rookie Principal) .

I was right in the middle of it when we had our College Team Meeting.

I love the people I work with for all different reasons – Ryan Smith I love not just for his incredible music skill and worship anointing but because he makes me laugh. In the midst of of stress and too many details Ryan can pull out an impersonation that makes me laugh till I cough (I am not a snorter I am a laugh till I cry or cough girl, not dissing the snorters at all ) . That day he was in fine form and I laughed till I coughed AND  cried.

The next night I was driving back, around 9pm from our Silverwater Campus with Emily, Jordan and Mark Saundercock after we had done a 12 hour day of two Orientations. Saundy got on a roll and we laughed and laughed and laughed. It was a little bit naughty, a lot inappropriate but it was just what the doctor ordered.

The tendency we have in big times is to get more intense, work harder, bunker down.

Really sometimes we just need to have a good laugh.

I treasure the people in my world who make me laugh – the ones who don’t let me take myself or the situation too seriously.

If you are leading a team make sure you make time to laugh together. Nothing bonds a team or builds morale like a a good laugh together. You may not have an on staff comedian like I do in Ryan Smith but you can set a culture where laughter is part of who you are.

Laughter is not weak – it is strong and refreshing – it is a release valve we have to reduce stress.

I am convinced it is a gift from God to us. Go ahead laugh till you cry, cough or snort – it will do you good.

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Change is a Challenge

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Enjoying Life, Self Managment / 20 Comments

So I am a decent way through a very challenging but exciting transition so I decided it was time to get back to blogging.

On October 1st 2017 I became the Principal of C3 College which is such an honour, so exciting and so terrifying.

I also have a lot of friends going through various transitions- some wonderful, some challenging, some just really awful.

I have written about transitions before here  Transitions– but here are some new thoughts

  1. The thing that has to change most in a transition is your thinking – I have had to change how I think about myself, our  team, my place. even my life style. It’s very challenging. I have been seeing myself one way for almost 14 years in this organisation and now I need to change this. Believe me , my thinking patterns were not just set in stone on this- the stones were cemented in.
  2. I have to let go of much I like to embrace the new – things I really enjoyed I no longer can do – not because I don’t want to but because now there is other things that need my time and attention.
  3. People deal with change so differently – I work with the best people you could find – but they have all processed the change none of us were expecting differently – and I have to let them. Some friends who are in very difficult change have coped very differently to what even they would  have expected. People need time and space to process change.
  4. Change is stressful –  even if it is good.
  5. You have to honour the past before you can embrace the future. I really don’t like language that says “well now things will happen” around here. We all build on the shoulders of the people who have gone before us. For change that involves loss we may need to mourn the life that was, before we can embrace the change.
  6. You have to have friends- a safe place where you can be yourself in the midst of change, especially friends who can laugh, cry and pray with you – they are priceless. I have a friend who did Change Management for a multi- national – friends like that who can help you are incredible (thanks Annie )

There is so much comfort in knowing that although change may be a surprise to us – it is never a surprise to God. If we look back there is often little signs that indicate the change was coming. God is with you in the craziest change – he was with the disciples in the storm – he is with you in whatever you are going through.

He doesn’t promise it will always be easy – but He does promise you won’t do it alone.

Change  isn’t easy but it can be navigated with the grace of God.

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant, I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)

Reducing Stress in 2017

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Dealing with People, Enjoying Life, Self Managment, Uncategorized / 1 Comment

So another year begins and many of us love a fresh start to reset and hopefully do things a bit better than we did in 2016.

If I am honest I realised that I didn’t deal that well with the normal end of year stress in 2016 for a variety of reasons. (Hence the absence of my blog !)

If you are like me, you want to find a way to live with less stress and every year you come up with a new strategy – often for me  which involves sitting on a beautiful beach for hours, great plan but not always achievable.

I have just returned from a few weeks holiday (vacation) and I did just that – lots of chilling , on beaches or by the harbour. While I was relaxing one of the books I was reading was the  The Broken Way by Ann Voskamp . I can’t remember the last time I cried as much in a non fiction book . This book has much to say – and much that is challenging me . However as I process the challenges there is one thing that stands out to me right now .

Its Chapter Nine called the Miracle in Your Pocket that Breaks Stress.

In this Chapter, the Yale and UCLA study on Acts of Kindness is unpacked.

Turns out one way to reduce your stress is to do  a small act of generosity for some-one else ! Apparently overall we do one or two acts of kindness a day as a matter of course but when we increase this at all,  we see a tangible benefit to our well-being . Helping behaviours seem to lower stress. ( CBS Report of UCLA/ Yale study )

I love that science is showing us what the Bible has told us for centuries in so many verses –  here is a favourite “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” Prov 11.25.

I know we still need to exercise, eat well. delegate better, turn off emails at night etc etc to reduce stress  – but it turns out we can also just do a simple act of kindness to another person, once more than usual, in a day and we will feel better. I love it ! What a classic win/win.

Before we get too sincere and want to only give to others without benefit to ourselves lets consider our design.

What if we are created in the image of the God who IS love – and that love is expressed in giving?

What if the God of the Universe created us to be giving beings?

What if the only way we really function in a healthy way is when we are being kind and giving?

What if giving to some-one else takes our eyes off our own problems long enough for us to see a solution, hear the still small voice or reconnect with the Prince of Peace?

Imagine a world where everyone just did one more act of generosity a day, a world with reduced stress and increased kindness (little John Lennon I know but bear with me), sounds to me like a world where the Kingdom of God is increasing.

Its simple and basic I know – but isn’t it the loveliest way of reducing stress in 2017?

(If you would like to get content like this  in your email regularly and never have to look for it on social media again – just put your email address in  the subscribe section . My goal is to help you avoid some of the mistakes I have made and to encourage you on your journey, to be real and to be helpful!)

I will be Happy when …….

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Enjoying Life, Self Managment / 10 Comments

I have often fallen into the trap when pastoring people and when dealing with my own life to think that if some external circumstances change happiness will follow.

However the older I get the more I realise that happiness is fleeting and contentment is not based on external circumstances.

Now I am not talking about tragic or incredibly difficult situations. These obviously effect our emotional well-being. As does chronic pain, mental health problems, isolation and long term stress.

However I know that as a younger believer I was often  thinking that when X happens I will be content, then life will be good.

These days,  I often have students in my office upset because they thought that by 21 they would be married, or the next Darlene Zschech or –  add in your own dream or goal.

There is nothing wrong with having goals and dreams, however they cannot be the source of our contentment.

We have to learn how to find purpose and contentment no matter what circumstance we are in. If we don’t we will spend our lives chasing the next thing, and nothing will ever satisfy.

I get the angst. Being in my 50’s and being single is not what I dreamed for my life. However one day after a lot of tears I realised – in the words of Joshua in the Old Testament – that life and death stood before me- and I had a choice.

I could stay in bed and  be miserable and depressed or I could stand up and choose life.

I decided that I wanted to choose life. I wanted to be content where I was and not wait for some-one or something  else to happen to make me enjoy my life.

I was going to acknowledge the tough parts of the circumstances but heck I was going to enjoy my life. I was going to work really hard to find the secret of being content no matter what the circumstances.

We all have bad days, but we have to be careful we don’t believe the lie that we will be happy when … when we get the new job, the new house, the new whatever. (Mind you some new boots right now would honestly make a big difference 🙂 )

Contentment knows that we have been graced by God for the season we are in. That this grace is enough for us. Contentment comes from a heart that is grateful what we have and is not constantly comparing our lives to everyone else’s gorgeous Instagram photos !

I know its not easy – believe me we have to fight to stay content – however its a great place to get to . I am so inspired by the Apostle Paul who was content in shipwrecks, floggings and stonings, as well as then he was feted and abundantly looked after !  When I grow up I want to be like him !

(If you would like to get content like this  in your email regularly and never have to look for it on social media again – just put your email address in  the subscribe section . My goal is to help you avoid some of the mistakes I have made and to encourage you on your journey, to be real and to be helpful!)

Rest, People Pleasing and Ambition !!

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Boundaries, Enjoying Life, Rest, Self Managment / 15 Comments

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So as I mentioned last week it has been a tough few weeks in my family. I was really feeling it and so I decided to take a day off and escape to the mountains . I was scheduled to leave at 1pm last Sunday. At around 10.30 am on Sunday I got a text inviting me to be involved in a very cool ministry experience that night.

My 52 year old self  declined. If I was to tell you I declined without the thoughts crossing my mind – what a bummer, wonder if that opportunity will come again, wonder if I have let anyone down – I would be lying.

However decline  I did. I declined because I needed rest more than ministry. I needed to look after myself more than I needed to please the people who requested. I had been snapping at co-workers, sleeping badly and feeling like I could cry at any moment . I knew a place I could go to rest that would release the pressure valve. I had a great pastor suggest to me that I needed to do it, and I knew he was right.

However I knew my 32 year old self- and to be honest even my 42 year old self – would have immediately begun re-arranging things to take this and every ministry gig that came my way.

I am not proud of this fact. I am not proud of it, because it lacks faith.

It means I have to say yes to please people as if they are in the place of God. I have to say yes, because a tough God will see me saying no, and passes me by, the  next time his eyes rove across the earth to find those whose hearts are fully committed to him.

It lack faith in a Good Father who loves me and values me no matter what I do. A Father who makes me lie down to rest beside still waters (or mountains) when he sees me struggling.

Sometimes we just need to die to our people pleasing and our personal ambition – have some faith and look after ourselves.

Now as I type this I know there are some of you who will take this and make it justification for not ever stepping out of your comfort zone, and for being self indulgent. I am not talking to you – you probably need to say yes.

I am talking to the people like me, the driven, people pleasers who sometimes lack the faith to rest well. Sometimes too our sense of responsibility means we keep going way beyond where we should.

We should always say yes more than we say no- however we need to know when to say no.

We need to know that rest and recovery are crucial to longevity. I want to still be being fruitful and enjoying life at 80 and it won’t happen unless I look after myself now.

Tough times teach you so much, and reinforce old lessons. So I packed up my mum and the dog and went and stared at mountains, cooked, walked, played scrabble, finished my book , prayed and pondered. It refreshed my soul. Wish my 42 year old self could have done that too – she might have been healthier and more fun !

(If you would like to get content like this  in your email regularly and never have to look for it on social media again – just put your email address in  the subscribe section . My goal is to help you avoid some of the mistakes I have made and to encourage you on your journey, to be real and to be helpful!)

Leading yourself 4 – Fight to be in the Moment

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Boundaries, Enjoying Life, Rest, Self Managment / 4 Comments

In January I had a few days up the coast at a gorgeous place called Woolgoolga, with my friends Kerry and Marg – and some of Marg’s family. It was lovely.

At the time there were some pretty challenging things going on in my family which were causing me concern.

I also knew that I would be going back to a very busy time at work.

I felt these pressures trying to rob me of my usual holiday joy.

So I made a decision to fight to be in the moment. It didn’t mean I stopped caring about my family. It  did mean that I savoured the moments that would fill my soul and bring rest to my mind, so that I can keep on caring.

Leaders know how to fight to be in the moments of refreshing despite pressures, concerns and problems.

So I walked on the beach,swam in the ocean, played 500, drank champagne as the sun set, and relaxed.

One of my favourite moments was where I took the beach photo, and got the fresh revelation that turned into this post. There was an outdoor shower at the beach. After I had a surf I would stand under cool fresh water in a shower looking at the view. I loved those moments. I determined to not worry about anything but to just soak in the pure joy of cool water , warm sun and a stunning view. To take the moment to thank God for his stunning creation.  To just be right there in that moment taking it all in.

We have to be people who can take every thought captive, we can lead our own minds and hearts to peace and joy in the midst of big lives.

Even in the midst of challenges and heartache, that we can stop and enjoy a moment. We can allow our soul to be refreshed by these moments.

I am convinced that leading our souls in this way will cause us to be able to run the race set before us for the long haul.

Lets be people who can be in the moment – and lets let those moments colour our worlds.

(If you would like to get content like this  in your email regularly and never have to look for it on social media again – just put your email address in  the subscribe section . My goal is to help you avoid some of the mistakes I have made and to encourage you on your journey!)

5 Tips to Juggling

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Boundaries, Enjoying Life, Rest, Self Managment, Uncategorized / Leave a comment

One of the things I was asked in my recent survey is how I do the juggle. The juggle that many of us do – balancing family, friends, work, second jobs, church commitments  and looking after ourselves.

To be honest this week I have failed badly at it. I almost missed a dear friends engagement, I messed up some dates that I booked people for and I tried to pray for new students for 2014 !! I blame it on a migraine, a move and inhaling too many cleaning products last week.

Normally I do manage to juggle quite a few things and enjoy it – so here is a few things I have learned about doing the juggle

  1. It takes planning – I spend time at the beginning of each week figuring out where all the pieces are going to fit in. I use my outlook calendar to put everything into – find a calendar tool you like and use it.
  2. I pretty much do what I have planned to do – no matter how I feel. Too much rescheduling causes lots of stress.
  3. You have to be in the moment – if you have a full life you have to enjoy right where you are at that time. I try to be totally present and enjoy right where I am. (The photo above is from the College Ministry Trip. Had a week with these crazy kids and loved being with them – enjoying too many great moments)
  4. I make sure that there are certain things that I don’t juggle – they are fixed and don’t move e.g. I walk and pray in the mornings, no matter what else is going on in a day. I always have one day off work a week no matter what. (If you have read my blog before you know I am passionate about the Sabbath -I wrote about it here 7 Tips to keeping a Sabbath)
  5. I allow margin where ever I can. Deliberate gaps in the schedule which allow for unforeseen interruptions. These interruptions are always people and people are always more important than any tasks, and worth the interruption.

I am not perfect at the juggle by any means and I don’t juggle as many things as many of you do – but I do have a full life and these are some tips that have helped me. Please comment if you have any great tips that could help us all

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant, I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)