So this blog may cause some fireworks !
In the last few years I have noticed an alarming decline in old-fashioned manners . Now maybe its just my friends or the Northern Beaches of Sydney – perhaps too much time in the ocean has water-logged our brains. I fear its wider spread than that though , I blame the mobile (cell) phone !
Here are a few examples of things that have happened to me or people I know, that show the state of affairs I am talking about . (I may have no friends after this post – however the people who think they are the culprits never are )
- A friend was cooking dinner for 40 people and some people who had RSVP’d – YES – didn’t come – no text, no call , nothing !
- Texting to say you are leaving the house at the time when you had agreed to meet, when the place you had agreed to meet is 40 minutes from your house !
- Not RSVPing at all – I blame FaceBook for this one. Who invented the Maybe button on an Event – really !!!
- Getting a better offer!! Now single friends know that a date with Mr or Mrs Dreamboat means we can all be flicked – but apart from that or meeting the Queen/Prince William and Kate/ Brad Pitt/ George Clooney / or Free Coldplay tickets – is it really a better offer when you hurt a friend ?
- Texting a regrets on dinner an hour before – yes we all love left-overs – but this can be an expensive one!
You get the drift. Why do I blame the mobile phone ?
I blame the mobile phone because it enables us to text when before we would have had to call and speak to a person and hear their disappointment or anger that we were not coming to an event. We also had to show up where and when we said we would because otherwise people would be waiting with no clue about what was going on, feeling anxious and stressed about our well-being.
Am I blameless in this – of course I am not. I have done some of these things too. (Sorry Zack Evans if you are reading this)
It is still not right.
As many of you who read my blog are pursuing leadership of some kind or another – this will really undermine people’s respect for you .
We need to be people who let our yes be yes and our no be no. We need to stick to our commitments even when they require sacrifice. We need to learn how to say no up front as well so we don’t end up in situations where we are pulling out of many things last-minute because we have overcommited and are exhausted.
There are always circumstances we can’t avoid – illness, emergencies etc etc – which cause us to legitimately have to pull out of things. I recently had to say no to a funeral of a dear friend’s father because my Mum needed to go to the doctor urgently.
However very rarely are the circumstances so bad we can’t at least send a text or make a call !
Let be people of our word, who respect other people enough to communicate!
Lets also keep having grace for people who do these things – we can only work on ourselves !
(If you would like to get content like this in your email regularly and never have to look for it on social media again – just put your email address in the subscribe section . My goal is to help you avoid some of the mistakes I have made and to encourage you on your journey, to be real and to be helpful!)
Making arrangements is a lost art. So is the teaching of character around let your yes be yes and your no be no.
Agreed Bronny- lets bring it all back !!
Our attachment to our devices is a source of all kinds of societal ills. We are the generation who are waking up to the harmful effects of social media.
Yes Steve – hoping that your kids generation will grow up with a more balanced way of managing these things because they don’t begin as novelty. Much like we now manage our TV watching in a more healthy way (hopefully). I would hate to be a teenager right now in the height of social media mania.
People going for the better offer is sadly one of my biggest takeaways of life in sydney. I think its easier to be anonymous in the city. In the country especially a small state like tassie you’ll see those people again!! Not that living in the country makes you perfect … maybe the results of your actions can be a bit more immediate?
Great point Lisa – you are more likely to see the person the next day at the shops in smaller settings. I am sad that was your takeaway from your life in Sydney – but it is a valid takeaway unfortunately