In one week I did damage to two relational bridges and have had to go back and do some repairs – and in both cases I could have left the bridges broken because I was technically “in the right” . However that would have made me so “in the wrong” .
It was humbling for these reasons
1. I had to own my part in the damage
2. I had to work hard to fix the damage
3. In one case the other person blamed me entirely for the damage and could not see their part – and I am pretty sure that is not going to change.
However despite the humbling process and how hard it is at points we have to be able to go back and repair bridges.
One bridge was a parent at a student at a recent student performance. She objected to me taking photos and blocking her view and soundly rebuked me for it during the show. I certainly did less photo taking but I stewed during the show – my thoughts centring along – doesn’t she know who I am, I have a right to take photos. (Any sentence that begins with “don’t they know who I am ” should be a serious red flag- it lacks the heart of the gospel) .
At intermission I went to the bathroom – where I find the Holy Spirit is very present as I have fewer distractions – weird I know – and felt convicted about my attitude and decided I needed to go back to me seat- turn around and repair that bridge.
I have met that parent before , she had forgotten, and I did not want to do anything that would damage the relationship between her and the church or the College. Leaving the unpleasantness in the air would have done just that.
So I humbled myself, went in there and instead of avoiding eye contact – as I really wanted to do- sat down turned around and chatted. We had a great conversation, talked about the photo taking, worked it through and she came again the next night a deliberately said hello. I repaired the bridge – and now it is strengthened as is her view of the College and the church.
I wish I could say all bridge repairs are that straight forward – some take a lot more effort and time. However as ministers we need to have the skills to do it. Rather than avoid the situation we need to humble ourselves, roll up our sleeves and do some dirty work. I am learning the need to do it over and over again, how about you ? Comment below and add to the discussion.
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