Women Leading Men

 

 

Leading men as a woman in leadership can be a challenge, especially in the church – but sometimes in the workplace too. Surprising in the 21st century but part of life. It is inevitable that some men will find it unusual to be led by a woman and frequently not the men you think it will be . It is also true that some women find leading men more of an issue than they had anticipated.

I have made big mistakes, and had great mentoring. I learnt much of it in  the early days of being on staff on Long Island, NY under Mark Kelsey’s leadership. Mark Kelsey and Bill Clemens who was the Assistant Pastor – were so incredibly good at backing me up and pushing me to stand in the authority I had been given – it was a gift from God and I understand not every woman in ministry gets this support.

So a few things I have learnt along the way, and I am sure there will be more to say on this later

1. Treat All People with respect

Every person – male or female – needs respect. When you are leading people – just because you have a position –  it does not give you the right to disrespect any person. Guys especially don’t respond well to being shown a lack of respect..

2. Treat All People Like Family

Treat people like family –  they are ! In 1Timothy – Paul says “Do not rebuke and older man harshly but exhort him as if her were your father . Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters. ” (1Tim 5:1,2) . Great advice that still works for us now. For me this speaks of leading with the kindness and honour you would afford people in your own family. It also speaks of how we carry ourselves in these relationships – loving the people we lead like our own family.

3. Lead!

If you have been given a role of leadership – lead. You rarely hear a man apologising for leading and you often hear a woman doing it. Don’t apologise for have to make the tough calls and give direction – it is part of your role. Men will not follow you if you don’t actually lead – actually no-one will want to follow you. If you don’t lead you may have the role but some-one else on the team will jump into that vacuum you have created and take the reins.

Lead with confidence  knowing that God has anointed you for the task. (Note : If you manipulated your way into a role, you won’t have this confidence, so get yourself out of there fast, repent  and allow God to elevate you !)

4. Don’t try to be a man

In fact don’t try to be any other woman either – be yourself. People respond to leaders who are true to themselves, working in their own strengths and talents expressed through their personality. You have been given leadership as YOU –  why do we then get into positions and try to be some-one else. If God wanted some-one else he would have put some-one else there. If he wanted a man to do that role I am sure he could arrange it- he is the Creator of the Universe. So relax and be yourself. Of course we  look to mentors and role models but ultimately we have to express who we were created to be- anything else is exhausting.

That’s enough for now – I know its the tip of the iceberg, but I wanted to start the discussion.

Girls- what can you add to my list?  Guys- give us some insight into being led by woman from your perspective.

(The weird photo is from a first year C3 College activity I run where I blind fold all the first years in the Oxford Falls courtyard – up to 90 people – and make them walk to drum beats – they have to be lead – it is so fun and it seemed appropriate! The other one is a grad photo. )

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