Laugh till you cry, cough or snort – Often

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Boundaries, Enjoying Life / 2 Comments

So I understand this blog has a very lame graphic – an emoji ! But to be honest it is the emoji I use most in my life. I use it because I am convinced that the gift of laughter is key to a great life.

I started to think about this a few weeks ago when I was in a stupidly busy week (my own fault said yes to way too many things – still a rookie Principal) .

I was right in the middle of it when we had our College Team Meeting.

I love the people I work with for all different reasons – Ryan Smith I love not just for his incredible music skill and worship anointing but because he makes me laugh. In the midst of of stress and too many details Ryan can pull out an impersonation that makes me laugh till I cough (I am not a snorter I am a laugh till I cry or cough girl, not dissing the snorters at all ) . That day he was in fine form and I laughed till I coughed AND  cried.

The next night I was driving back, around 9pm from our Silverwater Campus with Emily, Jordan and Mark Saundercock after we had done a 12 hour day of two Orientations. Saundy got on a roll and we laughed and laughed and laughed. It was a little bit naughty, a lot inappropriate but it was just what the doctor ordered.

The tendency we have in big times is to get more intense, work harder, bunker down.

Really sometimes we just need to have a good laugh.

I treasure the people in my world who make me laugh – the ones who don’t let me take myself or the situation too seriously.

If you are leading a team make sure you make time to laugh together. Nothing bonds a team or builds morale like a a good laugh together. You may not have an on staff comedian like I do in Ryan Smith but you can set a culture where laughter is part of who you are.

Laughter is not weak – it is strong and refreshing – it is a release valve we have to reduce stress.

I am convinced it is a gift from God to us. Go ahead laugh till you cry, cough or snort – it will do you good.

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Parable of the Snake

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Uncategorized / 10 Comments

So anyone who knows me well, knows I have a deadly fear of snakes. A “I can’t even watch Harry Potter because of the huge snake and after it I would  have nightmares about snakes” irrational fear of snakes.

Recently after a big season I decided to take a few days off and to go stay at wonderful  friend’s cottage in the Blue Mountains. I bundled Molly the dog and a bunch of books into the car and drove myself to my retreat.

On arrival I grabbed my bags and the dog, unlocked the cottage and walked in the begin my mini vacay. Within a few minutes Molly was going crazy chasing something behind the TV – in among the various black cords I thought I saw a snake !!!

So I did what any irrational terrified person does- I didn’t stop to find out what was there I grabbed my stuff and my dog and bolted out of there – determined to drive myself back to Sydney.

I sat in the gorgeous garden waiting for my heart rate to return to normal while Molly had a run. In this time, in a text conversation, my good friend Annie encouraged me not to let my rest get robbed. Then I texted the owners who had seen mice recently, and thought it was probably just a mouse. That made more sense than a snake in autumn (fall)  in a house. Country homes get mice. Mice I can deal with- and they can have black tails.

As I had bolted, I honestly couldn’t tell you what I had seen.

I took the dog for a long walk and on the way back, after a few hours, I decided that I was not going to let fear rip me off. I really needed a break – and what was probably a mouse should not take that away.

I actually spoke out loud to myself – I took authority over my fear and proclaimed that I would have the rest that I needed.

I went back to the cottage and Molly happily ran into the cottage with not a care in the world- the mouse was clearly gone .

Here’s what I learned

  1. How easy would it have been for me to give into my fear and go home. How often does fear cause us all to run from good things.
  2. We need good friends to give us some info that can dissipate fear and friends to encourage us not to  be ripped off .
  3. That sometimes we have to put on our big girl pants and refuse to give into fear.

By refusing to give into fear I had a gorgeous few days in the mountains – read, ate and drank with my friends, slept and prayed.

P.S On the last morning I took Molly for a walk again before leaving to come home. We came back into the cottage to guess what-  yep a long black SNAKE in the dining area ! Ha, the man of the house was home and came to rescue me. However I stood and looked at that snake until he arrived (holding tight onto Molly) – I had done the thing I dreaded, been in a room with a snake, and I survived. Not sure my fear of snakes is totally gone- but I have faced it and refused to let it rip me off. I had a great holiday despite sleeping in a house with a snake !!! Fear did not win.

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant, I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)

In Process- Some Thoughts on Giving

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Church Life, Dealing with People, Theology / 3 Comments

Now C3 College is off and running- at two Campuses – I have time to write again. (I still don’t have time to source cool images so the sunrise is just a photo I love )

This one’s a little different – see if you like it.

So a few weeks ago I went to hear a Biblical Scholar John Barclay speak. In the midst of many things that he said he threw out a comment about something that has been running around in my head ever since.

As part of his research John Barclay is looking at poverty and giving in first century Palestine. Here is the Pam paraphrase of what he said and what has so challenged me.

“What if Biblical giving was never supposed to be one way – what if our whole concept of giving with no strings attached, without expecting anything back, is actually just a modern western construct?”

Now before you do what I did – and have your brain scream at you because we have always been told that the right thing to do is just to give to people and not expect to receive – consider these thoughts

  • Is giving without expecting to receive a position of arrogance because we take a high position of – I am the person in plenty – and I will give to a person in need – and there is nothing they can do for me
  • Isn’t true community actually about giving and receiving – about a co-dependence that is healthy and strong.
  • Isn’t humility able to say – right now I give to you this gift of time, money, dinner, flowers etc but I know I will one day, and it may be tomorrow, I will need help from you.

Surely real community must go both ways.

As a person who has found it hard at times to ask for help, I am deeply challenged by these thoughts. I know that many of you who are in leadership roles probably are the same. In some ways, particularly in western culture, we celebrate people who don’t need help – we all love low maintenance friends.

However, what I think is not bothering people – or getting on with it – may in fact turn out to be arrogance and unhealthy independence.

Also isn’t there also the joy of giving that means we always receive and shouldn’t we just acknowledge it.

In times of tragedy or crisis – we all find it easier to receive. However, what if we lived everyday life in  a flow of giving and receiving – and not just with family or those we live with ?

I wonder if that is what it means to be the body of Christ ?

Still thinking it through so love to hear your thoughts.

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant, I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)

Change is a Challenge

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Enjoying Life, Self Managment / 20 Comments

So I am a decent way through a very challenging but exciting transition so I decided it was time to get back to blogging.

On October 1st 2017 I became the Principal of C3 College which is such an honour, so exciting and so terrifying.

I also have a lot of friends going through various transitions- some wonderful, some challenging, some just really awful.

I have written about transitions before here  Transitions– but here are some new thoughts

  1. The thing that has to change most in a transition is your thinking – I have had to change how I think about myself, our  team, my place. even my life style. It’s very challenging. I have been seeing myself one way for almost 14 years in this organisation and now I need to change this. Believe me , my thinking patterns were not just set in stone on this- the stones were cemented in.
  2. I have to let go of much I like to embrace the new – things I really enjoyed I no longer can do – not because I don’t want to but because now there is other things that need my time and attention.
  3. People deal with change so differently – I work with the best people you could find – but they have all processed the change none of us were expecting differently – and I have to let them. Some friends who are in very difficult change have coped very differently to what even they would  have expected. People need time and space to process change.
  4. Change is stressful –  even if it is good.
  5. You have to honour the past before you can embrace the future. I really don’t like language that says “well now things will happen” around here. We all build on the shoulders of the people who have gone before us. For change that involves loss we may need to mourn the life that was, before we can embrace the change.
  6. You have to have friends- a safe place where you can be yourself in the midst of change, especially friends who can laugh, cry and pray with you – they are priceless. I have a friend who did Change Management for a multi- national – friends like that who can help you are incredible (thanks Annie )

There is so much comfort in knowing that although change may be a surprise to us – it is never a surprise to God. If we look back there is often little signs that indicate the change was coming. God is with you in the craziest change – he was with the disciples in the storm – he is with you in whatever you are going through.

He doesn’t promise it will always be easy – but He does promise you won’t do it alone.

Change  isn’t easy but it can be navigated with the grace of God.

(If you would like to get my blog in your email and never have to look for it on social media again – just subscribe on the side. I can’t guarantee it will always be brilliant, I can promise it will always be real – my aim is that it would always be helpful)

Have we lost our manners? I blame the Mobile Phone !

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Boundaries, Dealing with People, Self Managment, Uncategorized / 7 Comments

So this  blog may cause some fireworks !

In the last few years  I have noticed an alarming decline in old-fashioned manners . Now maybe its just my friends or the Northern Beaches of Sydney – perhaps too much time in the ocean has water-logged our brains. I fear its wider spread than that though , I blame the mobile (cell) phone !

Here are a few examples of things that have happened to me or people I know, that show the state of affairs I am talking about . (I may have no friends after this post – however the people who think they are the culprits never are )

  • A friend was cooking dinner for 40 people and some people who had RSVP’d – YES – didn’t come – no text, no call , nothing !
  • Texting to say you are leaving the house at the time when you had agreed to meet, when the place you had agreed to meet is 40 minutes from your house !
  • Not RSVPing at all – I blame FaceBook for this one. Who invented the Maybe button on an Event – really !!!
  • Getting a  better offer!! Now single friends know that a date with Mr or Mrs Dreamboat means we can all be flicked – but apart from that or meeting the Queen/Prince William and Kate/ Brad Pitt/ George Clooney / or Free Coldplay tickets  – is it really a better offer when you hurt a friend ?
  • Texting a regrets on dinner an hour before – yes we all love left-overs – but this can be an expensive one!

You get the drift. Why do I blame the mobile phone ?

I blame the mobile  phone because it enables us to text when before we would have had to call and speak to a person and hear their disappointment or anger that we were not coming to an event. We also had to show up where and when we said we would because otherwise people would be waiting with no clue about what was going on, feeling anxious and stressed about our well-being.

Am I blameless in this – of course I am not. I have done some of these things too. (Sorry Zack Evans if you are reading this)

It is still not right.

As many of you who read my blog are pursuing leadership of some kind or another – this will really undermine people’s respect for you .

We need to be people who let our yes be yes and our no be no. We need to stick to our commitments even when they require sacrifice. We need to learn how to say no up front as well so we don’t end up in situations where we are pulling out of many things last-minute because we have overcommited  and are exhausted.

There are always circumstances we can’t avoid –  illness, emergencies etc etc – which cause us to legitimately have to pull out of things. I recently had to say no to a funeral of a dear friend’s father because my Mum needed to go to the doctor urgently.

However very rarely are the circumstances so bad we can’t at least send a text or make a call !

Let be people of our word, who respect other people enough to communicate!

Lets also keep having grace for people who do these things – we can only work on ourselves !

(If you would like to get content like this  in your email regularly and never have to look for it on social media again – just put your email address in  the subscribe section . My goal is to help you avoid some of the mistakes I have made and to encourage you on your journey, to be real and to be helpful!)

 

Reducing Stress in 2017

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Dealing with People, Enjoying Life, Self Managment, Uncategorized / 1 Comment

So another year begins and many of us love a fresh start to reset and hopefully do things a bit better than we did in 2016.

If I am honest I realised that I didn’t deal that well with the normal end of year stress in 2016 for a variety of reasons. (Hence the absence of my blog !)

If you are like me, you want to find a way to live with less stress and every year you come up with a new strategy – often for me  which involves sitting on a beautiful beach for hours, great plan but not always achievable.

I have just returned from a few weeks holiday (vacation) and I did just that – lots of chilling , on beaches or by the harbour. While I was relaxing one of the books I was reading was the  The Broken Way by Ann Voskamp . I can’t remember the last time I cried as much in a non fiction book . This book has much to say – and much that is challenging me . However as I process the challenges there is one thing that stands out to me right now .

Its Chapter Nine called the Miracle in Your Pocket that Breaks Stress.

In this Chapter, the Yale and UCLA study on Acts of Kindness is unpacked.

Turns out one way to reduce your stress is to do  a small act of generosity for some-one else ! Apparently overall we do one or two acts of kindness a day as a matter of course but when we increase this at all,  we see a tangible benefit to our well-being . Helping behaviours seem to lower stress. ( CBS Report of UCLA/ Yale study )

I love that science is showing us what the Bible has told us for centuries in so many verses –  here is a favourite “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” Prov 11.25.

I know we still need to exercise, eat well. delegate better, turn off emails at night etc etc to reduce stress  – but it turns out we can also just do a simple act of kindness to another person, once more than usual, in a day and we will feel better. I love it ! What a classic win/win.

Before we get too sincere and want to only give to others without benefit to ourselves lets consider our design.

What if we are created in the image of the God who IS love – and that love is expressed in giving?

What if the God of the Universe created us to be giving beings?

What if the only way we really function in a healthy way is when we are being kind and giving?

What if giving to some-one else takes our eyes off our own problems long enough for us to see a solution, hear the still small voice or reconnect with the Prince of Peace?

Imagine a world where everyone just did one more act of generosity a day, a world with reduced stress and increased kindness (little John Lennon I know but bear with me), sounds to me like a world where the Kingdom of God is increasing.

Its simple and basic I know – but isn’t it the loveliest way of reducing stress in 2017?

(If you would like to get content like this  in your email regularly and never have to look for it on social media again – just put your email address in  the subscribe section . My goal is to help you avoid some of the mistakes I have made and to encourage you on your journey, to be real and to be helpful!)

#Blessed – What does it mean ?

Posted on by pam.borrow@myc3church.net / Posted in Jesus, Self Managment / Leave a comment

Lately I have had quite a few conversations with people who’s lives have not followed the traditional pathways. They have followed Jesus into incredible adventures and callings but they have not ended up with a spouse, three kids and a their own home. (or some combination thereof)

There is some regret and sadness in this that is very real – however I wonder if  much of it is caused by our perception of #blessed.

Now I am not picking on people who use #blessed to describe the amazing things in their lives. I know they are expressing gratitude and a humility that understands that every good gift comes from above.

It does cause me to ponder though on what we perceive as a blessed life.

I also wonder how much this is shaped by the Australian/American/ “Add in your western nation’s” dream – and very little to do with a life following Jesus.

Now I am also not saying that a  financially blessed traditional life is not the will of God (heck that would be hypocritical as I part own the gorgeous house you see in this post ) .

However I am wondering what blessed means in a new way.

Jesus said some fairly outrageous things about #blessed . Things like “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted” Blessed are the pure of heart for they shall see God “.

I am far from figuring this out – but I am on a journey to discover what does #blessed actually mean.

Can #blessed feed into i-will-be-happy-when/ ?

I am wondering if we settle for a traditional life  and we don’t risk it all for the adventure sometimes.

I am wondering if we allow the external #blessed to satisfy when the internal journey of becoming pure in heart is what we need.

Golly  these are all very deep thoughts for a Thursday night – and I don’t really have an answer yet .

However this I know. I want to understand more what a Jesus blessed life looks like.

On thing I am sure of – it looks different for every person and is attached to their calling and purpose and the journey in their heart to see God.

Stay tuned !

(If you would like to get content like this  in your email regularly and never have to look for it on social media again – just put your email address in  the subscribe section . My goal is to help you avoid some of the mistakes I have made and to encourage you on your journey, to be real and to be helpful!)